I know from personal and professional experience – that change can feel difficult – especially when it’s not something we have actively chosen for ourselves. If we’re facing illness, relationship break down, role changes or redundancy at work – it goes without saying that these life changes can require a great deal of resilience to deal with.
But even if it IS a change you have chosen to make – transitions can be TOUGH.
Whether it’s a promotion we’ve worked really hard for, a new daily routine that will help us to feel fitter, or actively developing our self belief and confidence.
There’s always a “messy middle” phase, where the new path feels uncomfortable and unnatural.
We feel like we’re dancing out of step, always a split second behind, no matter how hard we try to keep up. And that can feel exhausting after a while. The doubts start to creep in, our inner critic pipes up and we wonder why we’re even bothering in the first place.
So, how do you navigate the “messy middle” of any change or transition without giving up?
Here are just a few of the tools I share with my clients:
- Expect that it WILL feel difficult and uncomfortable at some point. Know that this happens to everyone who is going through change and transition. You’re not alone and there’s nothing wrong with you for finding this hard.
- Remember that this is where we learn, grow and expand. As Brene Brown says “the middle is messy but it’s also where the magic happens”.
- Observe and notice how and when your inner critic is particularly vocal, without entering into stories or dialogue, and notice if a more compassionate narrative could be helpful.
- If this is a change that you have chosen for yourself, ground yourself into the energy of your “why” – really tune into why you are making this change and how this feels in your body, and how things will be different in days/weeks/months/years as a result of doing the hard work now
- Take rest and breaks as often as you need. When you are tired, your brain is automatically predisposed to more negative thoughts. Look after your energy – this is a marathon, not a sprint.
- Root into simple pleasures – stay present, notice your environment, tune into the micro-moments of pleasure in your day and seek these out. Maybe a hot cup of tea as you gaze out of the window for five minutes, listening to your favourite song, putting on a perfume that reminds you of holidays. The more intentional and present we can be in our environment, the more regulated our nervous systems can be – giving us increased resilience for challenging times, and making us less likely to disappear down a negative thought spiral.
If you would like some support dealing with change and transitions in your life then feel free to contact me here