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Say NO, so you can say YES!

By October 10, 2022June 29th, 2023No Comments

Why saying NO, is just as important as saying YES!

Saying “no” to certain things is something that is essential if we want to maintain our wellbeing. 

I’d say it’s also essential to being successful, whatever that looks like for you – we can’t focus our attention and energy on too many things without it becoming diluted down – we have to say “no” so we can say “yes” to other things.  

 Saying no is also hard, particularly if you are prone to “people pleasing”.  So, give yourself some grace if you find it tricky, and start small.  

Try the exercise below and see how you get on – 

What do you want to say no to this week?  

 Is there something in your diary that’s making your heart sink a little? 

 Maybe there’s more than one thing – make a list.  What would feel easiest to say “no” to?  What would bring you the biggest relief?  

 Notice any objections that come up. Which ones are true and which objections are stories your inner critic has created? 

 For example – “I’ve already committed to do this” (truth) vs “It won’t get done if I don’t do it” (maybe part truth, part story) vs “They will think I’m not a team player if I say no” (story).

 And, the one I always forget  – if you say no to something, what does that allow you to say yes to?  

 Then choose what you are going to say no to. Make it doable. And do it. No justifications required.

It might feel a bit sticky and uncomfortable at first, but that’s to be expected.  It gets easier with time.  

 

This isn’t about not being generous with your time and energy – it’s about saying no so you have the capacity to be generous with your time and energy where it matters to you. We all have finite capacity – so we need to use it wisely (I would recommend the book “4000 weeks” by Oliver Burkeman discusses this in great depth).

Good luck! And, remember saying No helps you to say Yes!   

If you’d like some support in working through this process you can book a 1-1 with me here